January 12, 2012, 4:50 pm - (1 year ago) I've been friends with this guy for 11 years. We've helped each other out through a lot of stuff. We were best friends for most of that time. I'm the godfather for his son.
But the more I've learned of his antics towards his wife and child, the more I want to punch this guy out. When his wife's friend started telling about some of his controlling ways, I didn't want to believe it. I know him and his wife argue a lot, even in front of me and their baby. Last night I was chatting with his wife and even though he's my friend, I can't excuse him for much of the stuff he does and puts her through.
It's like he wants a divorce in the worst possible way. She's an immigrant from Iran. He withholds her paychecks (she has no bank account so he cashes it but won't give her the money), claimed to have canceled the application to make her a permanent resident (they've been married over two years, have a child and she's pregnant with their 2nd child), gives her only money for groceries and then questions her spending, avoids her and her son to where he drives two hours to see his mom every 2 weeks to chill for the weekend while leaving his wife and child at home with no money and won't return her calls, he'll do things like take her cell phone away and change the password on his PC so she can't use it, she's stuck at home all day with the child but he has "me time" so he can go to the gym and slip off to see his mom. And so on.
I thought marriage was supposed to make you a better person. It's made him worse. I knew he was not ready for marriage, but his mom nagged him into getting married. His mom is part of the problem in the marriage. And her mom considers me as one of her kids. That's how close I've been to him and his mom.
I sympathize with his wife. I even gave her $30 in calling cards so she can call her family. The wife asked me to add her number to the dial-around plan I use, but I'm afraid that would cost me too much money. She's seriously considering divorcing him and taking the kids back to Iran.
I'm planning to get married this summer, so their drama kind of scares me. I see no reason for her to stay married to my friend. He thinks he'll lose nothing if they get divorced, but in California you get r@ped if you're the breadwinner. I can see him regretting the child support payments for the next 18 years, especially if she takes the kids to Iran (I know he wouldn't want custody of the kids). Worse of all, he's going to regret not seeing those kids grow up. And I surely doubt he'll find another woman to put up with his ways.
In a sick way, a few times he tried to pitch me to date his ex-girlfriend. A woman he had a very volatile relationship with. Now why would I want to pursue such a woman that's a) not my type, b) a woman he still talks to from time to time (and I sense they still have feelings for each other), and c) I'm engaged?
I'm trying to prove to my fiancee I am going to be a good husband and stepfather. I'm embracing the idea of stepping up even if it means a lot of adjusting. Meanwhile, he's dropping the ball and turning into a slimy creature. Just so he can be a happy 30 year old mamma's boy. Click here to read full article